I guess that anybody who grew up in the 80s identified with The Smurfs. Here are three guys who've taken their Smurf-love to the obsessional level.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Human Smurfs
I guess that anybody who grew up in the 80s identified with The Smurfs. Here are three guys who've taken their Smurf-love to the obsessional level.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Girls Night Out
Two women friends went out for a Girls Night Out and went a bit overboard on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something.
The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it.
After finishing, they made their way home. The next day the first woman's husband phoned the other husband and said:
The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it.
After finishing, they made their way home. The next day the first woman's husband phoned the other husband and said:
"These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "
That's nothing," said the other.
"Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said 'From all of the boys at the Fire Station, we'll never forget you!'"
Monday, July 27, 2009
The Amazing Watermelon Brothers
While Juan is a 3-watermelon balancer, younger brother, Salvador, a part-time accountant student, is a little less flamboyant and only balances two. Says Salvador:
"Juan ees my brother and my hero. Eet ees an honor to be standeeng next to him weeth our watermelons. One day, I hope to be as great as he ees."
The Amazing Watermelon BrothersFriday, July 24, 2009
Frog Love
A red-blooded frog telephones the Lonely Hearts Psychic Hotline and is told by Esmerelda, his $5.95 per minute psychic:
"You are going to meet a beautiful, horny, teenage co-ed, who will want to know everything about you - the real inside - and she will eventually end up touching your heart."
The frog says:
"Fan-friggin'-tastic, Esmerelda! Will I meet her at a party, a restaurant, an orgy or what - and when?"
Esmerelda replies:
"Oh Froggy, you will meet her at college. Yes, I can see it quite clearly now - next semester, yes, next semester, during her anatomy class."
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Confucius say: # 4
- Confucius say: Man who run through airport turnstile velly fast must be going to Bangkok
- Confucius say: Tall man who smoke reefer standing on airplane toilet seat very high on pot
- Confucius say: Woman who even slightly mentally unstable and fly upside down have crack up
Monday, July 20, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
2 Horny Dwarfs
A not very well off dwarf wins the $121 million state lottery and he decides to splash out. He calls his best friend (another dwarf) and they take the first flight down to Vegas.
Throwing a hundred thousand around on the crap tables, they soon gather a few admirers, in particular, two gorgeous, mini-skirted girls of easy virtue. The four of them soon retire to the 2-bedroom penthouse suite for a night of champagne, cocaine and general debauchery.
Unfortunately, despite the charms of his new lady friend, the first dwarf, is unable to get a hard-on. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his little friend shouting out cries of:
"Here I come again ...ONE, TWO, THREE...UUH!" and the squeaking of bed-springs all night long.
In the morning, once the girls have gone, the second dwarf asks the first:
"How did it go?"
The first mutters:
"It was so embarrassing. I just couldn't get it up."
The second dwarf shook his head:
"You think that's embarrassing? I couldn't even get on the f***ing bed!"
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Myspace Nightmare
So, I found this this chick on Myspace via her profile and things were going well until she emailed me her full picture.
Uh-oh!
Uh-oh!
Aaaaah!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
What a Big Fag!
You can't try to convince me of anything else - this guy really is, let's not beat around the bush - just a big fag!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Ski Season Dirty Dreams
Here in Australia, it's the ski season, so I thought I'd share a ski joke with y'all, c/o Dirty (who's not really so dirty) Eli.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Barbie-Q-Chicken
Hmmm, I'm feeling a bit hungry. I think I might just have have some Barbie-Q-Chicken tonight.
Barbie-Q-ChickenMmmm. Better than finger lickin' good.
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