Douchebag

A drunk walks into a bar, sits down, looks around, eying a party-girl well past her used-by date and calls to the bartender:

"Hey you, Mr. Bartender, I'll have a triple whiskey on the rocks and while you're at it, get a drink for the miserable douchebag down there."

The bartender looks at him scatingly:

"Sir, that is a lady not a douchebag. You should show some respect."

The drunk says:

"Fine, Get the lady a drink then."

The bartender has a word with the woman, then fixes her a drink. The drunk then calls the bartender over and asks:

"Mr. Bartender, sir, what did the douchebag - I mean, l-a-d-y, order?"

The bartender looked at him apologetically and said:

"Oh, she just wanted a vinegar and water."