Rabu, 19 November 2014

Top 100 Funny Jokes

Smartness:

An Economist beautifully explained two reasons for having two wives:

A - Monopoly should be broken

B- Competition improves the quality of service..

If you have one wife she fights with you, if you have two wives they will fight for you

Feel the difference and decide:

Disclaimer: We are not having such experience and not responsible for any side effects!

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Adam[man] and Eve[woman] were the first human beings in the world

one fine day eve asked Adam' do you love me'

Adam said 'do i have another choice'

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Male in the club Orders a Beer..

Female next To Him-

What A Co-incidence, Even I Have Ordered the same..

Man-I'm so Happy.

Female-Me too.

Man-Wat A Coincidence.

Lady-My Husband & I Have Tried 4Yrs For A Baby..

Today I'm Pregnant.

Man-Wat A Co-Incidence.

I Am A Farmer

From 4Yrs My Hens Were Infertile,

Today All Laying Eggs

Lady-Wow How Did That Happen?

Man- I Used A Different Cock.

Lady SMILED, & Said

WHAT A COINCIDENCE!!

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Why do cows have bells?

Because their horns don't work!

Submitted by Alysia Csengery

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They asked me Why wasn't Jesus born in Sydney?

Well, they couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

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To avoid getting entangles with child-labor laws, I have decided to appoint a child as a CEO.

Special ego massage, please!

You are right.. Minimalism did not make any sense to me until I began to bald!

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The kidnapers of your son sir! He says you've grossly undervalued your company to fix the random amount!

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Ask.. whatever you want, but don't ask me to walk my talk.

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Dad – Dear, I want you to marry a girl of my choice.

Son – no way..

Dad - She is the daughter of world's richest man.

Son – then its done.

Then his dad goes to that richest man..

Dad - I want your daughter to marry my son.

Rich man – nope

Dad: He is the COO of world bank.

Rich man – then its done.

Then Dad again goes to president of bank.

He asked – appoint my son the COO of the world bank.

Him – Never

Dad: – He is the son in law of World's richest man.

Him – then its fine.

THIS IS Smartness...!!

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The only thing our students want to hear from you, sir, is how to engineer jobs in the current market!

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Boss:

The virus means business. It wants us to send online secure payment to leave our system.

I chose a wrong mentor - what about you?

The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.

Interpretation: It is true when your boss shares something witty, you must laugh otherwise he might feel insulted and your promotion can be stopped. So whether they are funny or not, everyone laughs at them.

Employee : Boss, you called me?
Boss : Yes, go to home and make love with your wife.
Employee : (After an hour) ,done sir
Boss : Do it again.
Employee : Done again, sir.
Boss : Do it once more
Employee : Now I don't have
stamina for it, sir.
Boss : Very good,here are my car
keys, drop my daughter at home.

Explanation: What a smart and proactive boss. He is so doubtful about his employee or daughter that he makes his worker to tried before sending his daughter with him. But anyhow it was a funny experience. Isn't it?

A pregnant lady asked her Sir if she could have the day off because she wasn't feeling fine. He tells her the only way she is leaving work is if she starts her contractions. So she yells "shouldn't, couldn't, Can't, didn't, won't, wouldn't!"

Driver:

Are you afraid of dying alone? Become a bus driver.

Interpretation: How witty! This joke tells that we all need company to something daring. They are not suggesting how to avoid suicide but giving you idea to be bus driver because there are hundreds more people who can go heaven/hell to accompany you.

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